When I used to think of substance abuse it always seemed like something that affects people who go down that path. Never something that could ever affect me. I consider myself to be a cautious person. I've never done drugs in my life, grew up in a religious family, and had a pretty wholesome childhood with a very good group of friends with similar backgrounds. When I had my son, I was even more determined to make sure I stayed on the right path since I had to provide for him and set an example. Even after taking all the precautions that I have in life, substance abuse still found a way to affect me. When I met my ex-husband he seemed to have had a bit of a rough past but regardless, he had a kid, was working hard, growing his business, and overall seemed to be pushing towards making a better life for himself. I dated him for 4 whole years, getting to know him and never once caught a whiff that he ever had issues with drugs. He would smoke a little pot once in a while but now a days it's even legal in a lot of places. I never thought of it as a red flag. We wound up moving in together, then getting married and it wasn't until later that year that he started acting different. It was a very slow and gradual change which made it difficult to notice. He just started slowly loosing energy for things. He got in an accident while riding his bike, after the accident he kept on complaining of back pain and was no longer able to keep up running his business. It was strange because he was never prescribed pain meds. I even went with him to his doctors appointments. Little by little he started loosing energy, quit his landscaping business, and then was without a job. I was pretty much the sole provider for the family, now having to get two jobs to make ends meet. He started working Uber, but was never able to make much off of it. He started getting into car accidents while working Uber. Somehow he kept justifying it by saying it was not his fault, and that the people that hit him were to blame. I naively believed him. He luckily got a job working from home. Things were looking better but a year before we split up he spiraled downhill. He started sleeping way too much, was very quiet and less responsive when he used to be a chatterbox, and just overall moving very slow. He was found sleeping on the job, and wound up quitting. I was truly concerned at this point and scheduled an appointment with the doctor thinking maybe he had some kind of serious health condition. I still had no clue that he had an issue with substance abuse at this point. After many doctors appointments and even a hospitalization, and brain CT, no one had done a toxicology screen. It was getting to be very difficult to handle taking care of a person who was no longer able to function on his own, and provide for a family at the same time. I was busy trying to keep everything together that I was missing all the warning signs. He wound up taking my car keys while I was asleep, driving the car, and had a bad accident. When he made it home he started smoking inside the house with the kids present and when I saw him I could not believe my eyes. He was no longer the person that I knew. I did not know this person that he had become and it was no longer safe to live in the same house as him with two kids. We were lucky that he didn't decide to take the kids for a drive that day since the car caught fire. I left the house that weekend, moved to my grandmothers and had to make the tough decision to tell his son's mom what was going on so that she could take him. Not long after I moved out, I got a call from the hospital. My ex had been admitted and baker acted for drug overdose. When I asked what drugs he had been on, they would not tell me because of HIPPA. It turns out that after reaching out to his mom to try to find help, she shared with me that her son had had a history of substance abuse before I met him. He had been to rehab several times for various different drugs, and they lost touch. Apparently when I met him was the most stable he had ever been. He had never disclosed this to me. I was oblivious the entire time. Those last few years with him seem like a bad nightmare that I just want to forget but it makes me a lot more aware of just how badly substance abuse affects not only those who fall into drug addiction, but the people around them. I feel terrible that as a mother, my son had to witness this, but the silver lining is that he got to see firsthand the true effects of substance abuse. This could never be taught in class at school. Hopefully forums like this, can help spread awareness to others and hopefully prevent them from making that first bad decision to experiment with drugs.
- Anonymous
My experience with substance abuse is one that is difficult to talk about, since I am still in a state of shock. I met an amazing man, that would turn out, until this day; to still be the love of my life. He was so handsome, hardworking, generous, and with a Southern charm, that would sweep any woman off her feet. " A giver" and " a man of God", is how he would describe himself. He definitely was that; A Baptist man, that hardly drank, never used drugs, and was on this Earth to serve God by giving to those in need. I was engaged to be married; but little did I know, that the man that promised to never leave me, was struggling with "addiction".
Shortly after I had met him, he had told me he would be needing back surgery. I didn't think about it twice. He was young and strong, so I figured he would have no problem getting on with his life, after the surgery. I remember asking after the surgery, what the doctor had prescribed. He sent me a picture of the prescription; "oxycodone", it read. I was smart enough to know that it was an addictive medication, we even spoke about it. However, he responded with " no worries, I don't have an addictive personality".
The relationship grew to what every girl dreams of. I was a Princess in every sense of the word. I was loved with no doubt, unconditionally. But after some time, things started to concern me. I noticed his hands trembling, he couldn't sit still and he appeared to be jittery.
I thought maybe it was stress from work, or I even thought maybe he was suffering from some illness. His behavior also started to change. He had become paranoid, accusing me of possibly cheating. He would get angered easily. He would misinterpret my words, and start fights for no reason. What was a perfect relationship, turned into an abusive one. There was no way this was the same man. One day, I looked into his eyes, and they looked different. His beautiful light eyes, had these pinpoint pupils. I had educated myself on the use of opiates. They say "hindsight is 20/20"; boy is that an understatement. I then started realizing all the times he told me he was feeling nauseous or spent long amounts of time, in the bathroom; later telling me he was constipated. He was tired, couldn't get out of bed sometimes. But then again, he was going through a crises at work. His text messages started to not make sense. However, he excused himself saying he was just spent from work and with lack of sleep.
I finally got the courage to confront him, in front of his family. He called me a liar, and made me look like I was the one who was trying to destroy his reputation. It seemed the family didn't believe me, or maybe they knew; but were too embarrassed to face the truth. It was easier to discard me, then admit that the " man of God, the Giver"; no longer, " walked on water."
That was the End. I can only pray for him, his family, and that the stigma of mental illness/addiction is no longer a deterrent for people to get help. I pray that one day society can more openly speak about this opiate crisis; without prejudice, nor fear of being judged.
Amen
- Anonymous
What I learned from my ethanol challenged boyfriend:
1. Just because he's successful, doesn't mean he is not an alcoholic.
2. I will never be a priority to him.
3. He'll think of any excuse to have a drink; He's worked hard, deserves it or a celebration is at hand.
4. His red face and spider veins are not from the sun, nor aging.
5. No matter how much he works out, his belly is still big.
6. He can't socialize without a drink, whether it's dinner, watching a game, or playing golf.
7. His heavy drinking causes him for forget what he did the night prior or how he got home.
8. He becomes irritable and defensive if asked to cut down or stop drinking.
9. I can cry, get angry, or beg; but it makes no difference; because he is not ready.
10. The sweating and shaking are withdrawal symptoms.
11. If I sound accusatory or judgmental, when voicing my concerns; it only makes things worse.
12. The best way to help him, is to first concentrate on my well being; and provide support when he is ready.
13. Once I learned to understand the mental illness of addiction, I became more empathetic, and learned to forgive; despite the pain he had caused me.
- Anonymous
My name is Maria J. Vega, and I am a child and adolescent psychiatrist, with over 20 years experience in the field. In my vast years of experience I have never seen a mental health crisis, such as it affects our nation; at the present time. Fentanyl is the single most deadliest drug threat that this nation has encountered. It is involved in the majority of teen overdose deaths, and the numbers are alarmingly growing.
Fentanyl is a potent, often deadly synthetic opioid and just as little as 2 milligrams can kill you. It is available via social media, and counterfeit pills. Thus, it is often added to pressed pills meant to look like prescription medications, such as oxycodone, or Xanax. Social media has also made it easy for drug dealers, to gain more access to young people who are seeking prescription medications to lessen anxiety or help with other mental health issues.
I am also hearing more and more stories, of teenagers dying from fentanyl-laced marijuana. It has been reported to be added to multiple illicit substances, including cocaine and methamphetamine; but also counterfeit Adderall as well. The latter is a huge problem, considering the shortage of prescription medications for ADHD, that has been affecting our nation, since the pandemic.
I have young patients in recovery that have educated me on their past use of pills called M30, also known as the "blues". The pills are round and have a light blue color. They are being seen in larger and larger confiscated batches of counterfeit oxycodone tablets, and are obviously laced with fentanyl.
Seeking professional help and abstinence of any drugs is the ultimate answer, and raising awareness is the key. At the same time, increased penalties for drug dealers and preventing overdose deaths with available overdose reversal drugs (Narcan), is of upmost importance.
I can only hope that the younger generation of leaders can help put an end to this!
- Dr. Maria J. Vega
As a Medical Director at an Addiction Recovery Center, I have first-hand knowledge of the effects of addiction on the human mind and body. These effects have been documented and studied for decades and are readily available to anyone willing to do a brief search on the internet. In order to add value to the Mental Health Awareness Club I decided to illustrate the effects of drugs in a very plain and easy to understand manner using a fictional character we will call Jimmy.
At 12 years old Jimmy loves playing little league baseball and taking care of his dog as well as building friendships with classmates. These activities and interactions trigger the pleasure center and reward center in his brain and give him a sense of happiness and fulfillment.
At 14 Jimmy begins smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol on a regular basis. He does this due to peer pressure initially but after a few months he is doing it because the pleasure center and reward center of his brain starts demanding the jolt that these substances provide. Sports and walking his dog and talking with friends, what we refer to as "natural highs" don't provide the same intensity of neurochemical rush to his brain so he gradually loses interest in them.
At 17 Jimmy's reality has become somewhat depressing. He has poor relationships with family members due to always being stoned or drunk and irritable. His friends are not the kind of people who he can count on to be there for him because they are drug users too. His grades are poor and prospects for higher education are growing dim. At this point the pleasure centers in his brain have grown so accustomed to the highs from marijuana and alcohol that he has begun chasing more intense highs by experimenting with cocaine and methamphetamine.
At 21 Jimmy has been on the street for a couple years. He barely graduated high school and his need for drugs led him to steal from his parents and relatives. Eventually his parents gave him an ultimatum to go into treatment or leave. Jimmy's addiction was so strong that he chose a life of homelessness and crime rather than the opportunity to become sober.
At 23 Jimmy has died of a fentanyl overdose. He snorted cocaine that was laced with the drug and it killed him instantly. In eleven years he has gone from a happy productive person with his whole life in front of him to a dead body behind a dumpster. The tragedy of his life does permanent damage to everyone who ever cared about him.
When you think about the effects of drugs and addiction think of the story of Jimmy. Around 100,000 Americans die of drug overdoses in a given year. With your knowledge and the resources available, intervene whenever you can to prevent these tragedies. And most importantly, before trying drugs think of the path that can send you down and all the pain it will cause you and your family and friends...
I wish the Mental Health Awareness Club continued success. Keep doing the work to improve the lives of people in your community, each one of you can be a hero to someone in need of help.
- Dr. Gloria Dunkin
Small things can make an enormous impact. We hope to celebrate Red Ribbon Week, affirm sobriety, and spread awareness of the ill effects of drugs on users and their communities. In the process, we hope to break the stigma of addiction, not in the sense that it's okay, but that it's okay to seek help.
If you're a healthcare worker or have dealt with the effects of addiction, feel free to fill out this form if you'd like to share your sentiments.